Good morning, friends. I spent the last two hours drinking coffee, staring at my blank computer screen, waiting for my confused thoughts and jumbled up emotions to lend themselves to words. But my heart is in pain today, and I refuse to give anyone more ammunition with which to harm me.
Oh… But I do have a topic. This one’s a doozy, baby. Hold on. Just consider this your public service announcement. I’m just giving you a whiff of something you should have smelled so very long ago.
So, you’ve seen a few escorts. You think you have found the most generous and caring of them all, and bask in your accomplishment. However, you don’t ask the right questions. Perhaps one of your questions should be…
“Was that the same comforter that I fucked on last time? Think hard. Is that the same comforter that I fuck on every time?!”
Yes! Yes, it certainly is. You’ve been sliding your bare butt over the cum filled linens of someone else. How could you do this and not know?
Dude, that’s a great question. How could you NOT know? The only thing I can think of is, you’re lovely little escort doesn’t orgasm at all. If she did, there’s no way you wouldn’t notice. So… you don’t even get her off AND you don’t care if she changes the sheets between clients?
So, you’re closest gal pal doesn’t have enough respect for you to even provide a clean playground? Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have anything going for you? Oh, you’re a bad judge of character. Oh, that sucks. I think you just struck out. You can thank me later for the newly cleaned sheets you’re sure to notice next time.
I don’t spend my time bashing others. I vent here and I let it go. This campaign to stop me has only slowed me enough to take a fuckin break. This petty shit is getting on my fucking nerves. REAL people have REAL problems to worry about.
Guess things would be different if I also had a live in boyfriend to pay all of my bills and drive me everywhere, so that I had time to fuck with people. But I don’t. I do everything for myself. And, I kind of like the independence of being alone. And hurting others does not make me feel better about myself.
I refuse to defend myself against complete bullshit. Anyone who believes factless rumors should probably continue. They can’t handle the real world. I’m too busy trying to clean up the life that I screwed up so many years ago. I do not have time to argue with children. Male or female.
I no longer promote “playing with my friends”. It was a dream of mine for years to publish under that exact title. I have watched helplessly as it has been trampled and exploited. I no longer think it is a good thing for people who know you to read your personal thoughts and feelings. It leaves you open to their interpretation. Perhaps, I’m just speaking a different language.
I don’t really know where this goes next. I thought about starting over, perhaps even transferring some of my writing. But what’s the use?
My dream was to relate to people and I only found them needy and selfish and vengeful. To those who supported me through difficult times over the past few months… Thank you ever so much. I never would have made it through that without you. That’s a fact.
I’m taking the day off. Kiss my ass. Suck your own dick. I had a wonderful evening last night with a new friend, and, to be honest, I’m worn out. I want to watch my beloved documentaries. Then, maybe a comedy show so I can laugh at stupid jokes for an hour. Whatever I end up doing, I’m pleasing me today. Because pleasing you has become impossible, and I DON’T FAKE SHIT.