So, last night I had to go to the laundromat to wash clothes. I have a million sheets, soiled from playing, that needed to be washed. The event cost me almost $70.
As I’m sitting sitting there, in a room filled with steam and sweat, watching my loads tumble with suds, I thought about a lot.
More than anything, I thought about Bull. That was my 74 year old ex boyfriend. The grumpiest, sweetest man I’ve ever met. For 15 long years he took care of my children financially. He looked out over me and my family for as long as I’ve known him. His passing has left me confused and lonely.
Was I good enough to him? Did I make too much fun of them? I used to pick on him all the time. He would say, “You know, one day I’m not going to be here.” So, I always followed with, “Only the good die young, Bull. You’ll live forever.”
It was just a joke. I thought it was hilarious. And I did think he would outlive me. He was full of piss and vinegar, and, due to a new documentary, I now know why. But he had a knack for picking on me too.
I always took that to mean that he didn’t like me very much, but I don’t feel that way anymore. If he didn’t like us very much, he never would have helped. I think he loved us dearly. And he’s so greatly missed from my life.
Bull always had a special perversion for young girls. Now, come on. I didn’t say VERY young girls. 21 was a great age in his opinion. And he loved to look at an 18 year old, too. IF… she had nice titties. He just liked them young. You know… perky nipples and all.
This was all well and good when I was like 25. But, as the years passed, I grew older and older. He never really seem to age much for me. Although, the years certainly did add up. He used to tell me all the time that he was going to trade me in. I’m sure every girl has heard that once or twice. If you haven’t,then it’s probably difficult to picture my face, so ugly and distorted from mocking him.
He kept me on my toes. Mostly trying to bring threesomes over to his house. I knew I wasn’t the only one to do that. He would elicit the help of any chick who he thought might have a hot friend. Luckily I had a few. So, he had more than a few experiences to keep him happy in his later years.
It was never enough. Time kept catching up. He was already sick when I met him. Probably the reason I never thought he’d leave. So when he did, it was more of a shock to me. But I was already having a bad week, so it just seemed TO BE.
I miss him so greatly now. I think he might have been my best friend, and I just didn’t know it. Someone who waits in the wings for you to fall, possibly even expecting it. But hey, at least they’re there to help soften the blow when your ass finally hits the ground. He was good at that. Maybe with a harsh word or two, but definitely with a loving heart. I miss him greatly. From the deepest part of my soul. I love you, Bull.