Fuck It!

Well, today is turning out to be just slightly worse than yesterday. Great. 

You know, ya’ll don’t realize how lonely this life is. I fell asleep for an entire afternoon yesterday, and today I wake up to find an entire evening passed me up. Not that it matters. I only had one appointment scheduled, and I’m sure he was plenty pleased with my fuck-up.

I get very frustrated with this life sometimes. Went to sleep last night in need of something. I put my feelers out. I assumed someone would wake me up when they were able to get the cigarettes that I needed. Yes. That was my fucking need, but it was important to me.

Instead, I slept through an entire evening. Daylight is gone. People have gone to sleep and are still snuggled in their beds when I awake at 6am. It’s insanity to me.

I don’t think anyone would really check if I just disappeared right now. My mother probably. No my mother likely. Others? Not unless need some head. Why would they? Out of concern? For what??

I don’t think I like myself very much sometimes. I certainly don’t like the people in my life that make me feel this way. But whatever. It’s a new day. Right??

I just paid a cabdriver $20 as a tip to take me to the store two blocks from my house this morning. Fuck you. I didn’t feel like walking. Besides my dog would’ve had my whole apartment torn the fuck up when I returned. What a great dog.

So, I’m supposed to talk about sex this morning. I hear it every day. Well, I don’t feel like it. You go on about your day as if I don’t exist. I’ll see you tomorrow.