Crappy Friends

Well, hello darlings. I just saw the sweetest BucketList. What an honorable gentleman and a wonderful lover. To top it all off, he avidly follows my blog. All of my favorite attributes in a man.

I would go into a great deal of detail if it wasn’t for the fact that this one was a little special for me. So, I think I’ll keep this one right next to my heart.

But for all of you naughty boys and girls looking for a little something spicier than what I’ve just told you, here’s a little dish. Although, quite possibly not your flavor…

I had begun before to tell you about some of the insane shit that happened in my adventures on CL as an escort. I think I’ll continue on from there.

Over the years, many fellas followed me from CL to BP. However, with the change of my phone number (not intentional but greatly needed) and entry onto the scene of my new escorting website, there are very, very few left. I could probably count them all on one hand.

Not to say that it’s not a good thing. It’s actually a very good thing. CL clients tended to be unusual more often than not. To say the least. I used to refer to myself as kinky until these fellas showed me the meaning of the word. I finally had to settle on freak. I barely break the threshold of perversion compared to some of these guys.

There was one guy in particular. Over the years, he contacted me many times. He probably contacted everyone who advertised as a female on there. Or maybe he was just attracted to my ads. They usually said something on the lines of “Wet Hot Live Real Pussy Now!” Or something like that.

He always asked for the same thing. And it was always way, way too much for me to be able to comply with. Not that the money wasn’t good. He offered 300 or 350 at the time.

No. It wasn’t the money. That’s for sure. It was the deed itself. This fella actually wanted someone to burn him with cigarettes! Wtf??!!

How could he ask JUST ANYONE to do this. How could someone want anyone to do this at all?? It sounded simply terrible. And when I thought of the scent of his burning flesh in the air… I was totally disgusted, and unable to help him in any way.

JoyfulClown beats that request though. He was a friendly enough guy via email. Rather intelligent actually. It wasn’t his personality that kept me from seeing him.

The truth is, he really didn’t want to see a girl at all. Or anyone for that matter. He wanted to see something else. You see JoyfulClown’s big request was for you to take a dump, and then take pictures of those dumps to send back to him.

Holy shit! I just fucking realized who JoyfulClown is!

D-A-M-N-I-I-T   J-E-S-S-I-E!!!

I know what you’re gonna ask me. Don’t fucking say it. Hell no! I wouldn’t! Period. 

YES! Yes. I did it. But only one time. And only because I felt sorry for him. He said it had been awhile… Shut up! I get it.

So yeah, when I meet an actual gentleman every once in awhile, it floats my boat. It sets wind to my sails. And steers me straight on home.


2 Replies to “Crappy Friends”

  1. Hahah wow what a request. And the topic photo is just great!!
    Very interesting people out there that want some weird “shit” done to them! Ha
    I’m sure it’s not gonna be the last of the weird, wild, and interesting request.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I can see being into the burning thing. Back in the time (feeling oh so long ago now) I was still in school a friend of mine liked to burn stray threads off his clothes (with himself in them) or burn himself with the hot metal from the lighter. Thought it was fubar myself, but he kept doing it. Kind of how I learned I’m not a masochist, by example like. Give me pain and I give punches, that’s my standard. Now scat … that is one of those things I don’t think I can ever wrap my head around. Normally I can work out some general parallel even for stuff that needs some … creative wiring in the brain to be into, but toiletry misadventures just doesn’t line up in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

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