Good morning, friends. I had the most exquisite dream last night that a “friend” stayed over. He was masculine and tender, all at the same time. He held me through the night. Something I haven’t felt in a very long time. I mean, HE REALLY HELD ME. 
Lots of men have put their arms around me. They have pulled me to them. They have hugged and kissed and carressed me. But no one, NO ONE HAS HELD ME LIKE THIS. Something about him just allows me to feel safe.
SAFE. Now that’s a word I haven’t ever considered needing in my life. Yet, I know now that I truly do. I lost something… Some sense of normalcy; Some sense of safety and care… I lost those things when I was attacked. Those that I cared about took my sense of safety from me. And to find a man who returns that to me… Words cannot describe.
Truly, you already know that I am emotional person. My outbursts alone are great proof of that. Well, it goes both ways. I am also a person very intune to those around me. Which makes me just a sensitive little pansy at times. But in the past, I still always felt safe. There wasn’t anyone there, but I still, somehow, felt protected and nurtured. 
I’m just saying… I hope it stays here with me. Instead of leaving with my dream lover. My safe, stable, secure blanket of flesh should be wrapped around me at all times. I think I NEED it.
I dont’ question fate much. It’s usually done okay by me. (Yup. Just okay is right.) But, it’s never truly been in my favor. One day it will be my time to shine. My security will be the love and devotion of another. I yearn for it. I’m just waiting for those fateful cards to be dealt.
I know that I deserve more than I have. That’s a fact. All that I’ve PAYED FORWARD in my life surely will be returned with great favor. Right? I know it will. My dreams will one day be a reality. And my dream lover will truly become MY FRIEND. 

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