I sense something. Something that just won’t go away. The air is thick with a whole lot of it. It is joined by a stench. Just an overpowering odor of fear and anticipation. No… Wait. SHIT! My breakfast is burning. BE RIGHT BACK!!
Catastrophe avoided! Whew! Come on. You know how fucked up this world is! I need a nutritionally balanced breakfast just to put up with these crazy folks. And Pensacola has a very large ‘duh’ population all by itself. Everyday is like an adventure around this asylum.
So, why do you think that sex addicts, sluts, whores and perverts are all condemned for something as simple as their sexual preferences? I would go as far as to say, we have been discriminated against. You know, before porn was so readily available free, we used to have to drive out of Pensacola to Lillian, Alabama to get our porn. They certainly didn’t offer ANYTHING but soft core crap here in town. I mean, DAMNIT, man. What’s a girl gotta do around this place to be accepted for the nasty slut she is? Lol.
I’m just going off on a tangent. ANYTHING to take my mind off how happy I will be to spend time with my family today. ANYTHING to abate my childish impatience for just a few peaceful moments.
Few of you know this, but I was a hardcore drug addict for 9 years. I’ve been clean now for 3 1/2. My first holiday season clean, I watched movies in my hotel room alone. After years and years of lonely holidays that I refused to celebrate with the ones who TRULY loved me, the ability to just mesh with my family again for a special occasion had not yet returned.
Last year was my first real clean body/clean head holiday season. After two years of living with the fear that my addiction would just one day return, I finally was able to give myself a little credit for having made it so far. And, from that day forward, I began to forgive myself, FINALLY, for all of the regrets and the guilt that had feasted upon my self confidence for so long.
Last year I threw a Christmas party for my closest family members at the house I was living in. We had a 7 1/2 foot tree, and a fireplace hung with the kids’ stockings. All 14 of them! It was an AMAZING night. I could finally see in my mother’s eyes something that I’d missed for so long. Pride.
Now, the holidays are upon us again. WOW! I sure am one blessed bitch. Look at all the new friends I have. And thank you for being my family, friends. This past month, after my attack and the death of my elderly ex-fiance, ya’ll poured out of the woodwork to comfort me. I could feel your wishes and prayers for my well being. You all have become a part of me; a central part of my life.
So, as you gather with YOUR loved ones, let’s all be especially thankful that…
In this world of insanity, US FREAKS HAVE EACH OTHER.
HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!