Laney’z Back: more orgasms per square inch

I know everyone is probably expecting me to boo hoo this morning, but i’m not having it. I refuse to cry over spilled milk if no one has even offered cookies yet. We’ll just pick that shit right back up and pretend we drank it. See. All better. So, instead of making a cake, for a few days… we’ll just have pie. Pie still kicks ass. Am I right, friends?? With whip cream it fucking does. SMH

It would be impossible for me to not tell you I have not been affected. I’ve even lost a few good “friends” out of this whole situation. If something was trying to get you down, you’d shake that shit off, I’m sure. I hate to see people go, but then, they really weren’t my friends to begin with then. Were they? Sad still.

But now, onto better things. Today is a brand new day. My face is still very swollen. My eye is insanely bruised. But I still have two dates lined up for today. That means…

#1 Someone HAS to clean up this shithole.

#2 I should probably send a pic of my face to the dates. Sadly, I feel it may be just me and the puppy again today.

Either way, I promise to fill ya’ll in. Thanks for listening friends.


3 Replies to “Laney’z Back: more orgasms per square inch”

  1. And thank you for sharing. šŸ˜‰ And thumbs up for keeping your feet best you can. I’d offer you a beer (sorry, cookies are mien!), but well… internet. Somebody needs to get the wizkids on beer-faxing damnit. Or the ability to offer anonymous Instacart deliveries. Either or.

    Liked by 1 person

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