So, my date tonight just cancelled. Hey, at least he called. There’s nothing worse than shaving, carefully applying make-up, slithering into my teeny tiny panties, and then spending the next three hours watching the door. Truthfully, it happens more than I’d like to admit.
So I’m wondering… What should I do with my time? I definitely could be cleaning. I’d rather just finish Archer on Netflix. But, damnit, I’m fuckin horny. Hey, I haven’t watched any really raunchy porn in awhile. It’s immediately settled. I’ll watch a little show. I’ll just amuse myself for a little bit.
I’m embarrassed to admit that the type of porn that actually turns me on and gets me hot is anything taboo. And I do mean ANYTHING taboo. Okay, except for poop. I’m definitely NOT into poop. Hey, but if you really really want me to, I’ll pee on you. I’m not afraid to put a little pee pee on your face if that’s what gets you of f darlin. LOL. Hell, I could go pee right now. I ponder on mini little yellow dollar signs now mixing with the water in my toilet. Such a waste.
With the nagging pee urgency now no longer a consideration, I type in the call letters of my favorite freaky porn site. It’s probably not legal for me to tell you what it is, so let’s just say it’s bizarre and it’s freaky and it’s porn and it’s .com. LOL. You can’t just go straight to it via Google that’s for sure. And that’s what I love about it. This site puts filth where the average person can reach it. Oh, and reaching it is only the beginning of my plans. I have a large silver box filled to the brim with a variety of vibrating thingies to keep any run-of-the-mill sex addict entertained. I hate to have to do this but I’ll have to finish this post a little later. My fingers are going to be very busy.