Losing Mr. Lush

Okay. . .so here’s what happened.

About 6 years ago when I first began “working”, I was in need of a ride pretty bad one night. So I posted an ad that said just that. The very first person to respond actually ended up being the one I chose.

He picked me up in an old red mustang that he was happy to show me could really fly. Yeah, through almost every caution and red light we encountered on the way to his house. This redneck was tore the fuck up! Beer seemed to be fused to the sweat beading off of his skin. 

His house was dark and quiet and quite cluttered. When we arrived, I totally made up for the ride he gave me with a ride of my own. And all was well until the front of his bed crashed to the floor. From then on his name in my contacts would be John Brokebed. It was one wild ride!

Over the years, we kept in touch. It was obvious immediately that Mr. Brokebed should have been more aptly named Mr. Lush. I’ve never had a conversation with him that wasn’t full of expletives and drunk stuttering. The later in the day  it was, the more intoxicated and hard of hearing he became. 

Here’s the thing though. . . that stinch of liquor and beer. . . those bloodshot eyes. . .that big red nose. . . these attributes are very familiar to me. My father and brother both are alcoholics. I grew up around men that were usually intoxicated if they weren’t at work. 

One night he sent me a message asking if he could spend the night. He was just too drunk to drive home. I wasn’t doing anything so, we made an agreement. Something or something plus 20. Depending on whether we did the do or not. At one point, he awoke and threw his leg over mine, trapping me in the bed next to his sweaty flesh. So I chose to kill two birds with one stone.  Unfortunately, Mr. Brokebed was unable to pay me until the following day. Usually there would be no question. I would NEVER allow a man to owe me. Let’s just be honest…when the juice has been pumped, the fruit experiences buyers’ remorse. Why that is, I don’t know.

Of course, you already know. He never showed up the next day. I sent him one message per day for the following four days without a reply. Finally he messages me about how things had come up. Oh…as soon as i put it down things came up. Yes. I realize this. Still…he did not set up a date to reimburse me.

After two weeks, he does finally message new offering me my due plus an additional ten bucks if he left “satisfied”. I was furious. What balls! But i did need the cash so i played along to get him over here. 

Don’t think he didn’t know what he was doing, because he asked me at least four times if I agreed to the original plus ten. I was quickly losing my patience. Yes! Yes! Just fuckin come on! 

Suddenly he starts going off about how he had offered me something or something plus twenty. Not that he agreed to the extra is naked play was involved. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I’d finally had enough! 

I screenshot our original agreement and sent it to him. He laughed at me! Then came the rude and abusive comments. Ooh yea! He sealed his fate with those words. 

FOREVER IMMORTALIZED MR. LUSH!!!

Who’s laughing now?

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